On my way back with a friend from a concert tonight.
Friend: I'm going to get off here, hopefully my [ex bf] is at home [and we can have sex like always.] Anyways, gonna text you if it doesn't work out and I get home early tonight.
Me: Okay. Why. So that I can look out of the window and wave at you?
Friend: Yes. And so that you know you're not the only person with a sad life.